The Great Toilet Paper Conspiracy
- Inspired by the tendency for two-ply toilet paper to come arranged so that the layers are not in sync and everything you peel off falls in two. By the time you’ve discovered the problem and unwound enough material to put them back in sync, half the roll is gone. Conspiracy? I think so!
Falling Away from Myself
- The impression given when you are driving a car and you stop behind a vehicle with a back end large and glossy enough to see your own car reflected in it. Then the light changes, the other car pulls away, and the smooth glide as your reflection floats off at an impossible and diminishing angle is fraught with sublime imagery. You can feel as if you are falling away from yourself.
The Book of Lost Things
- Formerly intended to be a work of fiction titled The Book of Lost Souls, the Book of Lost Things is a nonfictional compendium of things which were once known but are now lost. This may include everything from scrolls known to have been burned in the Library of Alexandria right down to wherever my keys might be at the moment. One of the highlights of the book will be the herb silphium, which was once the prime seasoning of the Roman diet but only grew in a limited region of North Africa. In a fit of anger during a trading dispute most known plants were destroyed, and silphium was lost to the world. Now nobody even really knows what the herb looked like, let alone tasted or smelled like.
Redacted: The Novel
- I’m not going to say that I’d tell you what this is about but I’d have to kill you, because that cliche stopped being funny a couple of decades ago. Instead, I can tell you what this book is about as long as you sign this NDA and submit to having 50% of your brain colored in with black sharpie.
- Don’t worry. Due to inferior technology implementations if you buy the ebook version you can copy and paste the text layer right out from underneath the separate layer of black boxes and still read the entire thing.